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A Voice for Gay Men That Names Our True Experiences
No sugarcoating. No softening, just honest reflections on what’s really happening.
Mar 4
•
Gino Cosme
6
2
1
Your Shame Thinks It’s Keeping You Safe
Why gay men mistake self-attack for self-protection
Nov 13
•
Gino Cosme
15
8
3
The Quiet Joy Gay Men Keep Missing
Why safety feels like boredom and ordinary moments matter more than celebration.
Nov 6
•
Gino Cosme
18
14
2
Most Popular
View all
Hypervigilant Hearts: The Invisible Tax on Queer Existence
May 2
•
Gino Cosme
100
39
The Five Faces of Gay Loneliness
Sep 2
•
Gino Cosme
43
20
11
The Gay Loneliness No One Wants to Talk About
Aug 12
•
Gino Cosme
33
19
11
The Lies About Gay Men That Refuse to Die
Aug 26
•
Gino Cosme
29
15
5
The "Nice Gay" Contract: The Superpower That's Been Quietly Destroying Us
Sep 9
•
Gino Cosme
28
6
6
After The Closet: Grieving the Family You Thought You Had
May 9
•
Gino Cosme
24
5
The Newsletter That Puts Words To What Gay Men Feel But Never Say.
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Mental Health & Self-Worth
View all
Your Shame Thinks It’s Keeping You Safe
Why gay men mistake self-attack for self-protection
Nov 13
•
Gino Cosme
15
8
3
The Quiet Joy Gay Men Keep Missing
Why safety feels like boredom and ordinary moments matter more than celebration.
Nov 6
•
Gino Cosme
18
14
2
The People-Pleasing Pattern Destroying Your Relationships
The difference between kindness and erasure, and why one keeps you lonely.
Oct 23
•
Gino Cosme
21
10
5
The Intimacy Threshold: Why Gay Men Retreat When Connection Gets Real
The precise moment when promising connection suddenly cools, and why our nervous systems treat love like a threat.
Sep 16
•
Gino Cosme
22
3
6
The Five Faces of Gay Loneliness
Gay loneliness isn’t about being alone. It’s auditioning for connection. Naming the five faces of gay loneliness.
Sep 2
•
Gino Cosme
43
20
11
Over-Adaptation: The Gay Superpower That's Eating You Alive
How the skills that helped you stay safe during childhood can lead to cycles of disconnection and hidden mental health issues.
Aug 19
•
Gino Cosme
22
8
6
The Mirror Lies: Body Image Struggles in the Queer Community
What if the mirror’s been lying all along? A raw look at queer body image, survival, and the pressure to be ‘enough.’
Jul 22
•
Gino Cosme
11
4
LGBTQ+ Burnout: The Cost of Always Having to Explain Ourselves
When existing means educating everyone around you.
Jul 8
•
Gino Cosme
11
1
4
There's a Better Way to be Yourself
A fresh perspective on authenticity that honors both your truth and your boundaries.
Jul 1
•
Gino Cosme
10
The Gay Voice Dilemma: Code-Switching Between Safety & Self
When your natural voice becomes a calculated risk
Jun 24
•
Gino Cosme
8
2
2
The Unseen Wounds: The Lasting Impact of Microaggressions
How daily slights erode self-worth—and why your pain deserves to be witnessed
Jun 12
•
Gino Cosme
4
1
The Double Closet: Hiding Mental Health Struggles in the LGBTQ+ Community
What happens when you have to perform pride while falling apart
May 26
•
Gino Cosme
7
1
Community & Belonging
View all
Why Many Gay Men Feel Alone (Even Surrounded by People)
The epidemic of gay loneliness isn’t about being single. It’s about the survival tactics that saved us but left us strangers to each other.
Oct 30
•
Gino Cosme
29
18
4
Why Gay Men Treat Friendships Like Ongoing Auditions
The attachment wound you’re not naming is the one happening with the people who are supposed to know you.
Oct 14
•
Gino Cosme
30
11
3
When Gay Men Forget Who Their Real Enemy Is
The same disgust that once told us we were wrong is the disgust coming for them. Stand with trans people, or side with the shame that still lives in…
Oct 7
•
Gino Cosme
20
5
4
Why Gay Friendships Feel So Hard to Build After 30
The survival skills that kept us safe at thirteen are starving us of connection at thirty-five.
Sep 30
•
Gino Cosme
15
10
2
What If You Don’t Have a Chosen Family?
So many queer stories celebrate chosen family. This is for those who never found one.
Sep 23
•
Gino Cosme
19
7
5
The "Nice Gay" Contract: The Superpower That's Been Quietly Destroying Us
How over-adaptation became our survival strategy and why it's slowly eroding our capacity for desire, intimacy, and truth.
Sep 9
•
Gino Cosme
28
6
6
The Gay Loneliness No One Wants to Talk About
The secret gay men tell therapists but not each other: Our own community rejects us harder than homophobia ever did.
Aug 12
•
Gino Cosme
33
19
11
When "Gay Enough" Isn't the Question: Living in the Quiet Middle
A deeply personal reflection on queer imposter syndrome, identity friction, and the quiet middle where many LGBTQ+ people live.
Aug 5
•
Gino Cosme
19
11
4
When Surviving Becomes a Gift
Why LGBTQ+ Visibility Feels More Like Responsibility Than Victory
Jul 29
•
Gino Cosme
10
3
2
Are You “Gay Enough”? The Hidden Shame of Queer Imposter Syndrome
The voice that whispers "you're not really gay" might be the cruelest conversion therapy of all
Jul 15
•
Gino Cosme
3
1
The Silent Struggle: Growing Up Gay in a World That Didn't Acknowledge You
When invisibility becomes your first language, finding yourself takes a lifetime
Jun 10
•
Gino Cosme
17
3
When Queer Communities Fall Short
Discover why LGBTQ chosen family rejection cuts deeper than expected—and what to do when queer communities replicate the pain of your past.
May 30
•
Gino Cosme
14
2
4
Culture & Resistance
View all
The Lies About Gay Men That Refuse to Die
Five myths about gay men that won't die in 2025. These harmful lies maintain straight supremacy, fuel discrimination, and impact our mental health.
Aug 26
•
Gino Cosme
29
15
5
When Pride Becomes Dangerous
From celebration to calculation: the new cost of being seen
Jun 17
•
Gino Cosme
8
2
How Pride Went Global—and Got Hijacked by Corporations
From Johannesburg to Berlin, Pride has gone global—but at what cost? This essay traces its transformation and the queer resistance reclaiming it.
Jun 3
•
Gino Cosme
7
4
Stop Making Us Noble Victims: The Media's Problem With 'Palatable' Queerness
Media celebrates 'increased LGBTQ+ visibility' while serving up sanitized versions of queer life. But what's the psychological cost of being seen…
May 19
•
Gino Cosme
17
6
LGBTQ+ History as Personal Trauma
Insights from the therapy room on why many LGBTQ+ people feel broken despite supportive environments.
Mar 16
•
Gino Cosme
3
1
Why Resilience Culture is Failing LGBTQ+ People: The Problem with 'Just Be Stronger'
The well-intentioned resilience movement overlooks crucial realities about what LGBTQ+ individuals actually need to thrive in a world that wasn't…
Mar 8
•
Gino Cosme
8
6
5
How Religious Exemptions Let a Conversion ‘Therapist’ assault Gay Mormons
This is a dark truth behind Utah’s conversion-therapy ban loophole
Feb 14
•
Gino Cosme
1
5 Alarming Ways Trump Policies Harm LGBTQ+ People (and What You Can Do)
History is repeating itself, but this time we can see it coming — and take action
Jan 29
•
Gino Cosme
1
The Newsletter That Puts Words To What Gay Men Feel But Never Say.
Subscribe
Recent posts
View all
Why Many Gay Men Feel Alone (Even Surrounded by People)
The epidemic of gay loneliness isn’t about being single. It’s about the survival tactics that saved us but left us strangers to each other.
Oct 30
•
Gino Cosme
29
18
4
The People-Pleasing Pattern Destroying Your Relationships
The difference between kindness and erasure, and why one keeps you lonely.
Oct 23
•
Gino Cosme
21
10
5
Why Gay Men Treat Friendships Like Ongoing Auditions
The attachment wound you’re not naming is the one happening with the people who are supposed to know you.
Oct 14
•
Gino Cosme
30
11
3
When Gay Men Forget Who Their Real Enemy Is
The same disgust that once told us we were wrong is the disgust coming for them. Stand with trans people, or side with the shame that still lives in…
Oct 7
•
Gino Cosme
20
5
4
Why Gay Friendships Feel So Hard to Build After 30
The survival skills that kept us safe at thirteen are starving us of connection at thirty-five.
Sep 30
•
Gino Cosme
15
10
2
What If You Don’t Have a Chosen Family?
So many queer stories celebrate chosen family. This is for those who never found one.
Sep 23
•
Gino Cosme
19
7
5
See all
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Top posts
Hypervigilant Hearts: The Invisible Tax on Queer Existence
May 2
•
Gino Cosme
100
39
The Five Faces of Gay Loneliness
Sep 2
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Gino Cosme
43
20
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The Gay Loneliness No One Wants to Talk About
Aug 12
•
Gino Cosme
33
19
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The Lies About Gay Men That Refuse to Die
Aug 26
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The "Nice Gay" Contract: The Superpower That's Been Quietly Destroying Us
Sep 9
•
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