When Gay Men Forget Who Their Real Enemy Is
The same disgust that once told us we were wrong is the disgust coming for them. Stand with trans people, or side with the shame that still lives in your chest.
He scrolled past the headline without slowing. Another bathroom bill. Another politician calling gender-affirming care “child abuse.” Another trans kid about to lose healthcare.
My client kept talking about his weekend. The new gym. How good life is now that he’s out, stable, finally allowed to exist without the constant fight.
I asked him, “Do you think about trans rights much?”
He glanced at his phone. “Honestly? Not my battle. I’ve got enough going on.”
I felt that clench in my throat. Not surprise—recognition. I’ve sat across from dozens of men who’ve said some version of this. Men who survived homophobia themselves. Who still remember what it felt like when their existence was up for debate at dinner tables and in legislatures.
And now they act like transphobia is unrelated. Distant. Someone else’s problem.
Like the hatred that taught them to hide isn’t the exact same hatred erasing trans people right now.