They're Not Seeing You: The Internal Violence Behind Homophobic Rage
Why the men who hate us most are actually fighting ghosts, and what that changes about how we carry their violence.
The man at the pub kept glancing over. Not cruising. Calculating.
When he finally approached, his opening line wasn’t what I expected:
“You know what’s wrong with you people?” His voice had that timbre, not quite anger, more like an accusation searching for evidence. “You make everything about sex.”
I didn’t respond. Wasn’t meant to, really. He needed me to be a screen, not a person.
What struck me wasn’t the hostility. I’ve logged enough hours navigating straight spaces to recognize garden-variety bigotry.
What lodged itself somewhere between my ribs was how desperate he seemed. How the intensity of his disgust felt less like certainty and more like maintenance work. Like someone checking the locks on a door they installed years ago, terrified of what might happen if they stopped.
The volume isn’t proportional to conviction. It’s proportional to internal pressure.