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Weekly essays for gay men who are done with self-help and ready for self-recognition.
Most gay men don’t need more advice.
They need accurate language for what’s actually happening, so they stop blaming themselves for normal responses to years of editing themselves for safety.
Unfiltered Clarity is my weekly letter on gay men’s emotional lives. The stuff we live, but rarely name.
Subscribe free if you want one letter a week.
What you’ll get every week:
Recognition, not platitudes. The moment your body goes, “Yes. That’s it.”
A cleaner way to think. Less spiralling. More reality. More choice.
Gay life, as it is. Dating, shame, loneliness, intimacy, aging, family, sex, and the performance of being “fine.”
Sometimes it’s tender. Often it’s blunt. It’s never written to make you easier to digest.
Not for you if you want affirmations, quick fixes, or polite writing that avoids the uncomfortable truth..
How this is different:
I’m a gay therapist. I’ve spent years listening to the same patterns show up in different bodies.
Mainstream self-help tends to do one of two things:
Pretend your context does not matter.
Turn your pain into a branding opportunity.
This letter does neither.
We name the pattern. We tell the truth about the cost. Then we make space for a different way of living.
Start with these 3 reader favorites
Pick one. Read it slowly. If it hits, you’ll know.
Why Gay Men Can’t Stop Watching Heated Rivalry: What happens when validation exposes what you’re avoiding
Hypervigilant Hearts: The Invisible Tax on Queer Existence: What chronic scanning costs your nervous system and identity.
After The Closet: Grieving the Family You Thought You Had: The mourning no one warns you about after liberation
If you want this kind of clarity each week, subscribe free.
Support the work
If you’re a paid supporter, you’re keeping the lights on. You also get a deeper layer of the work: more access, more depth, and a quieter place to engage.
Monthly audio briefing
Subscriber-only posts + full archive
Community chat
A private inbox for topic requests and questions for future letters (not therapy)
Ad-free writing (no sponsors, no affiliate links)
If you’ve been reading for a while and this work has helped you breathe, this is the simplest way to support it.
What readers say
Share with the friend who never talks about this.
Gino, Thanks so much for adding me to your recommendations list. That means so much to me especially because I enjoy and admire your writing and presence on Substack! "Mutual admiration societies" are the best kind, filled with love, respect and good feelings Fondly, Michael
I really enjoy your writing and the quiet things being said out loud. 😊