A Voice for Gay Men That Names Our True Experiences
No sugarcoating. No softening, just honest reflections on what’s really happening.
Welcome!
If you feel safer alone than in queer spaces, if performance exhausts you, if you’ve ever been told you’re not “gay enough”, or if you’ve spent years saying yes to everyone but yourself, this is where you stop feeling alone.
What do I write about?
Why are so many gay men feeling isolated from the queer community, even after they’ve come out?
No, it’s not always internalised homophobia.
It’s because the script often asks you to be loud to belong, and then abandons you for being quiet.
That leaves a huge group stranded: men who want real connection, not performance.
That’s what I write about. That’s what I offer.
What you'll get (weekly):
Why you feel invisible in mainstream gay spaces.
The exhaustion of performative requirements.
Why code-switching happens automatically.
The “quiet middle”, where you feel that you don’t fit into gay culture.
The patterns we've been trained to hide, even from ourselves.
Depth, not tips.
Recognition, not solutions.
Start with these 7 (reader favorites)
The Gay Voice Dilemma: Code-Switching Between Safety & Self
When your natural voice becomes a calculated riskWhen "Gay Enough" Isn't the Question: Living in the Quiet Middle
A personal reflection on queer imposter syndrome, identity friction, and the quiet middle where many LGBTQ+ people live.The Lies About Gay Men That Refuse to Die: Naming the myths that keep you policing yourself even in queer spaces.
The Gay Loneliness No One Wants to Talk About: Why “surrounded yet starving” is a system, not a personal failure.
Hypervigilant Hearts: The Invisible Tax on Queer Existence: What chronic scanning costs your nervous system and identity.
When "Gay Enough" Isn't the Question: Moving attention from performance to dignity where it belongs
After The Closet: Grieving the Family You Thought You Had: The mourning no one warns you about after liberation
Why I write this
I'm Gino, a writer, mentor to gay men, and licensed psychotherapist who's spent 15+ years understanding the patterns gay men live with.
Over the years, I’ve worked with gay men who feel like outsiders. Not in straight spaces, not fully in queer ones, not even in their own skin sometimes. Gay men who know how to show up for everyone except themselves.
My work provides clarity on gay men’s mental health and its underneath truths.
Support this work (if it hits different)
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Supporters also get to know when I launch new frameworks, have a say in my writing topics, receive first invites to a community of like-minded gay men, and have a private inbox where I respond to messages within 24 hours.
Mostly, though, you’re supporting a gay writer putting words to the things most of us were told to bury.
What readers say
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This is writing for understanding and recognition. It's not therapy or medical advice.
I really enjoy your writing and the quiet things being said out loud. 😊