Writing About What No One Else Will Name
Welcome!
Unfiltered Clarity is for gay men who don’t see themselves in the loudest versions of queer culture.
If you feel safer alone than in queer spaces, if performance exhausts you, if you’ve ever been told you’re not “gay enough”, this is where you stop feeling alone.
What do I write about?
Why are so many gay men feeling isolated from the queer community, even after they’ve come out?
No, it’s not always internalised homophobia.
It’s because the script often asks you to be loud to belong, and then abandons you for being quiet.
That leaves a huge group stranded: men who want real connection, not performance.
That’s what I write about. That’s what I offer.
What you'll get (weekly):
Why you feel invisible in mainstream gay spaces.
The exhaustion of performative requirements.
Why code-switching happens automatically.
The “quiet middle”, where you feel that you don’t fit into gay culture.
The patterns we've been trained to hide, even from ourselves.
Give you depth, not tips.
Expect recognition, not solutions.
Start with these 6 (reader favorites)
The Gay Voice Dilemma: Code-Switching Between Safety & Self
When your natural voice becomes a calculated riskWhen "Gay Enough" Isn't the Question: Living in the Quiet Middle
A personal reflection on queer imposter syndrome, identity friction, and the quiet middle where many LGBTQ+ people live.The Lies About Gay Men That Refuse to Die: Naming the myths that keep you policing yourself even in queer spaces.
The Gay Loneliness No One Wants to Talk About: Why “surrounded yet starving” is a system, not a personal failure.
Hypervigilant Hearts: The Invisible Tax on Queer Existence: What chronic scanning costs your nervous system and identity.
When "Gay Enough" Isn't the Question: Moving attention from performance to dignity where it belongs
Why I write this
I'm Gino, a writer, mentor to gay men, and licensed psychotherapist who's spent 15+ years understanding the patterns gay men live with.
Over the years, I have worked with gay men who feel like outsiders and struggle to connect with the gay community. Men who feel uneasy in queer group settings and have difficulty reaching consensus.
My work is to give language to experiences we were never taught to see, and to defend your dignity while I do it.
Support this work (if it hits different)
If this type of content matters to you, becoming a paid supporter shows Substack that our voices deserve a wider audience (paid subscribers help shape the algorithm).
Supporters also get: easy-to-use frameworks, the chance to influence my writing topics, first invites to a new community of likeminded gay men, and a private inbox where I reply to messages within 24 hours.
Mostly, though, you’re supporting a gay writer putting words to the things most of us were told to bury.
What readers say
Share with a friend who’s still performing
Small, quiet revolutions start with language. If this helped, send it to one person who needs to breathe again.
This is writing for understanding and recognition. It's not therapy or medical advice.
