Most evenings my husband and I sit and talk about something we watched, where we’d go on our next vacation, or how China is eating the electric car industry.
We don’t go to rooftop parties overlooking the city skyline. We aren’t members of a glamorous underground world that straight people think exists. Our wardrobes don’t contain neon leather. We’re indecisive on what to watch. We’re just two men who share a life that looks, from the outside, unremarkable.
So, when people say that being gay is a choice, and that it’s a lifestyle I have chosen, I want to push back. Hard.
Labels reduce the lives of gay men to stereotypes. They erase quiet routines and everyday life. Saying we choose to be gay implies that we’re performers and that our lives are a spectacle.
The truth is it’s the same as any other person on earth: full of errands, arguments, laughter, and silence; groceries, mortgage, school runs, and quiet mornings.