You Tell Me Things Your Husband Doesn’t Know

What reader confessions taught me about the intimacy gay men still can’t access at home.

A man in Melbourne emailed me the other day. He had read my essay on hypervigilance and wanted to tell me that he had spent eleven years married to someone who still didn’t know that he cried in the shower. He said he doesn’t make noise when he does it. The sound of the water covers everything.