You say you know what you like. But what if your preferences are doing more than selecting? A closer look at what your attraction patterns might be defending.
Entire friendships can end over things like this.And have.
It has always been a somewhat alien conversation for me because I’ve always just basically been attracted to people who felt safe. People become attractive when you start to know them (for me). And I know how to trace that to my own fears and issues.
So your article was particularly fascinating for me and helping me understand what’s beneath attraction for some people. ☺️
I think a lot of people miss how much attraction can be shaped by safety, history, and what the body learned early. Glad it gave you a clearer way into something that can feel very strange from the outside. ☺️
Love these observations. We all think we have types (or interests or habits...)but wouldn't it be more interesting in life to branch out? It's tough when we think we only like what we like. There's a line from an Aimee Mann song, That's Just What You Are, which comes to mind:
"I won't fall for the oldest trick in the book
So don't sit there and think you're off of the hook
Exactly, Dan. A fixed story about yourself can become a very efficient way to avoid seeing yourself. That line works because it refuses to treat familiarity as truth.
Entire friendships can end over things like this.And have.
It has always been a somewhat alien conversation for me because I’ve always just basically been attracted to people who felt safe. People become attractive when you start to know them (for me). And I know how to trace that to my own fears and issues.
So your article was particularly fascinating for me and helping me understand what’s beneath attraction for some people. ☺️
I think a lot of people miss how much attraction can be shaped by safety, history, and what the body learned early. Glad it gave you a clearer way into something that can feel very strange from the outside. ☺️
Love these observations. We all think we have types (or interests or habits...)but wouldn't it be more interesting in life to branch out? It's tough when we think we only like what we like. There's a line from an Aimee Mann song, That's Just What You Are, which comes to mind:
"I won't fall for the oldest trick in the book
So don't sit there and think you're off of the hook
By saying there is no use changing
'Cause that's just what you are"
Exactly, Dan. A fixed story about yourself can become a very efficient way to avoid seeing yourself. That line works because it refuses to treat familiarity as truth.
huge topic, especially for the queer community. something I have witnessed myself a couple of times.