When Surviving Becomes a Gift
Why LGBTQ+ Visibility Feels More Like Responsibility Than Victory
We'd been working at the same company for three months before he said anything beyond "morning" in the kitchen. It was 2001, before diversity officers existed.
Then one Friday, lingering after everyone else had left for drinks, he asked if I wanted to grab coffee. Real coffee, not the office instant stuff.
Halfway through, he set down his cup. "Can I ask you something personal?"
I knew what was coming. You develop a radar for these moments.
"I noticed you never... I mean, the others talk about their girlfriends, but you..." He couldn't finish. Twenty-one years old, straight out of college, hands shaking around his mug.
"I'm gay," I said. Simple. A little anxious. But clear.
He went completely still. Then: "Damn. Okay. I thought maybe, but..." He pushed his coffee around. "How do you... at work, I mean. Do people know?"
"Some."
"And they're fine with it?"
"Some."
The conversation died there. We sat in that uncomfortable silence until he mumbled something about needin…