When I figured out that I am not my thoughts, that I don’t have to believe everything I think… it gave me distance and perspective, and everything became a choice of narratives. 💕
That awareness and shift changes everything. Once you see your thoughts as stories instead of instructions, you’re free to choose which ones deserve space. It’s a powerful kind of calm.
Making room for shame became a daily ritual through my teenage life as I realised more and more that who I am is at odds with the grip of religious and familial expectation. I was so busy with reciting scripture that promised "healing" from my gayness I didn't see the insidiousness of shame taking residence in my jaw, my neck, my spine.
What you lived would leave anyone tense and guarded, and it makes sense your body learned to stay ready. I’m glad you can name it now because that’s where the loosening starts.
This is great. I help people heal from chronic pain, and a big part of that work involves untangling shame, self-criticism, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. These patterns put a lot of pressure on the nervous system, pushing it into a fear state that the brain interprets as danger—often resulting in pain. I love exploring these ideas through different lenses, and I really appreciate your perspective here!
Love how you’re naming the nervous system piece here. Shame keeps so many of us wired for threat, and it ends up creating the very pain we’re trying to outrun. Always powerful to see the overlap from another angle.
When I figured out that I am not my thoughts, that I don’t have to believe everything I think… it gave me distance and perspective, and everything became a choice of narratives. 💕
That awareness and shift changes everything. Once you see your thoughts as stories instead of instructions, you’re free to choose which ones deserve space. It’s a powerful kind of calm.
Making room for shame became a daily ritual through my teenage life as I realised more and more that who I am is at odds with the grip of religious and familial expectation. I was so busy with reciting scripture that promised "healing" from my gayness I didn't see the insidiousness of shame taking residence in my jaw, my neck, my spine.
What you lived would leave anyone tense and guarded, and it makes sense your body learned to stay ready. I’m glad you can name it now because that’s where the loosening starts.
This is great. I help people heal from chronic pain, and a big part of that work involves untangling shame, self-criticism, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. These patterns put a lot of pressure on the nervous system, pushing it into a fear state that the brain interprets as danger—often resulting in pain. I love exploring these ideas through different lenses, and I really appreciate your perspective here!
Love how you’re naming the nervous system piece here. Shame keeps so many of us wired for threat, and it ends up creating the very pain we’re trying to outrun. Always powerful to see the overlap from another angle.
The entirety of this is ME. I’ll have to read it a few times to digest it all. Guilt vs shame. Never heard it defined like that. 😢😢😢
That difference tends to open up a whole new way of seeing yourself. Let it settle slowly and notice what shifts as you sit with it.