This: Remember, people-pleasing isn’t your personality. It’s armor your mind constructed when being yourself felt too risky. When love came with conditions you couldn’t meet unless you disappeared a little.
And this:Ultimately, people-pleasing robs relationships of the intimacy they crave. It’s not until we learn to show up as our full, unedited selves that we can truly be seen, known, and loved.
It’s one of those patterns that whispers rather than shouts. The key is noticing it sooner each time and meeting that moment with compassion, not shame.
“That exhaustion you feel that no amount of sleep touches? That’s not burnout from being busy. That’s the cost of maintaining a performance with no break.”
— that’s my hubby’s career.
Being gay in a straight-dominated everything.
We are not invisible to each other. But often we disappear to please friends who want us to join the group, or go to the same restaurant that we never liked. And they don’t notice that all we have is appetizers and a drink.
We are a simpatico duo, but we used to accommodate everyone else as transaction for our place at the table.
That awareness as a couple is powerful, Leo. There’s so much strength in reclaiming your space together instead of shrinking for acceptance. That’s real alignment.
This: Remember, people-pleasing isn’t your personality. It’s armor your mind constructed when being yourself felt too risky. When love came with conditions you couldn’t meet unless you disappeared a little.
And this:Ultimately, people-pleasing robs relationships of the intimacy they crave. It’s not until we learn to show up as our full, unedited selves that we can truly be seen, known, and loved.
This is a great article Gino. Thank you
I’m glad that landed with you. So much of healing is about realizing that authenticity isn’t rebellion. Instead, it’s repair. 💛
Gino, you are so on point. 🤦♂️
When something hits close to home, that’s where the growth starts. Identifying it is a powerful first step.
this was an incredibly hard behavior to break, and still creeps in ever once in a while
It’s one of those patterns that whispers rather than shouts. The key is noticing it sooner each time and meeting that moment with compassion, not shame.
Yup, I have changed what I was saying in mid-sentence.
Many of us have gone through the same, Patrick. I hope this post was able to help you find the words to describe what you're experiencing.
“That exhaustion you feel that no amount of sleep touches? That’s not burnout from being busy. That’s the cost of maintaining a performance with no break.”
— that’s my hubby’s career.
Being gay in a straight-dominated everything.
We are not invisible to each other. But often we disappear to please friends who want us to join the group, or go to the same restaurant that we never liked. And they don’t notice that all we have is appetizers and a drink.
We are a simpatico duo, but we used to accommodate everyone else as transaction for our place at the table.
No more. 🙂
That awareness as a couple is powerful, Leo. There’s so much strength in reclaiming your space together instead of shrinking for acceptance. That’s real alignment.