Why Resilience Culture is Failing LGBTQ+ People: The Problem with 'Just Be Stronger'

The resilience movement, though well-meaning, fails to recognize the essential needs of LGBTQ+ individuals to thrive in an unaccommodating world.

The world's obsession with resilience has reached a fever pitch.

Everywhere you look, there's another bestselling book, viral TED Talk, or Instagram carousel telling you how to "bounce back," "overcome adversity," and "strengthen your mental fortitude."

This advice might work wonderfully for some, but after almost two decades of working exclusively with the LGBTQ+ community in therapy, I've witnessed firsthand how conventional resilience wisdom not only fails LGBTQ+ individuals but often increases their suffering in ways most practitioners never consider.

Let me explain.

The Resilience Paradox

When I first began practicing as a therapist, I believed in the universal application of resilience principles. I'd recommend the same evidence-based techniques to all my clients, regardless of sexuality or gender identity. Books like "Grit" and "Mindset" sat prominently on my office shelves.

But something wasn't clicking.

I remember one clien…