When I was 19, I had multiple friend groups—one from high school, two to three from college.
In one of the college groups, I was one of 10 people. Those guys were thick and came through for each other for almost anything.
During my 2nd year of college, I started questioning everything my friendship in the group. Nothing was wrong with them. But my twisted brain was thinking something was, so I was fishing for reasons to get them out of my life. I remember just...icing them out.
I was also questioning, during the same period, the whole point of my degree and my alignment toward it. In hindsight, it's possible that I may have taken out my rage from lack of control in my life on them.
I wish someone pulled me aside, slapped me on the face, and made me see that I was fighting straw men, before I went too far and hurt them. I treated them so bad and I'll probably continue to regret it for the rest of my life.
It's one of the reasons why I promised myself recently that I will only respond to what's here than what I think to be here.
That level of regret usually means there was real care there, even if it came out sideways at the time. Responding to what’s actually here is such a hard and honest discipline, especially when your mind is used to building a whole courtroom around one uneasy feeling.
When I was 19, I had multiple friend groups—one from high school, two to three from college.
In one of the college groups, I was one of 10 people. Those guys were thick and came through for each other for almost anything.
During my 2nd year of college, I started questioning everything my friendship in the group. Nothing was wrong with them. But my twisted brain was thinking something was, so I was fishing for reasons to get them out of my life. I remember just...icing them out.
I was also questioning, during the same period, the whole point of my degree and my alignment toward it. In hindsight, it's possible that I may have taken out my rage from lack of control in my life on them.
I wish someone pulled me aside, slapped me on the face, and made me see that I was fighting straw men, before I went too far and hurt them. I treated them so bad and I'll probably continue to regret it for the rest of my life.
It's one of the reasons why I promised myself recently that I will only respond to what's here than what I think to be here.
Thanks Gino.
That level of regret usually means there was real care there, even if it came out sideways at the time. Responding to what’s actually here is such a hard and honest discipline, especially when your mind is used to building a whole courtroom around one uneasy feeling.